1 Million MinDful minutes

Without a doubt the most valuable uses of my time include mindful exploration and meditation. The most rewarding use of my time is sharing mindfulness with others (other than cuddling my chihuahua, my children, and spouse - though I consider that a mindful activity). I thought why not combine all of these valuable and rewarding passions into a 1M Mindful Mission! What is that you ask? Read on to find out and join me.

I have been meditating 1-3 times a day for the last 4.5 years. By my guestimations I have probably spent roughly 40,000 minutes meditating since 2019.

Yes I was a pandemic problem solver type (also a pandemic panic type). I didn’t lose 30 lbs (other than that initial 10 from pure fear) and find my sanctuary in protein shakes and weight lifting. I found my anxiety and lifelong PTSD and undiagnosed AuDHD was actually debilitating when you throw on top of it a new job, family health crises, family loss, grief, and parenting young children in a global pandemic. I needed to slow down and take care of my whole self. I had practiced mindfulness, meditation, and creative arts and journaling for almost 15 years in 2020, written my master’s thesis on Mindfulness based art therapy and behavior change and both had impacted my own healing and wellness greatly, but I had not made a daily commitment to mindful self care and meditation practice, nor had I formally studied meditation.

In 2020 that all that changed. I dove head first into Unplug meditation training and Board-Certification in Brain-Based Hypnotherapy (in my practice meditation and self hypnosis are parallel and just fancy words for working on awareness in a regulated state so you have more control over how your unconscious and subconscious impact your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings and therefore impact your cycles of dysregulation, stress, and mental health). I also completed graduate certificates in E-Instructional Design and ADHD-CCSP/ASD-CCSP to better understand how to support divergent learners in applying these skills and practices in their lives in ways that work for them.

Ok Michelle we get it you were on your undiagnosed journey of overachievement and hyperfocus - what about this 1M mission thing?

My birthday is July 30th and I’m kind of sap for meaningful dates and starts. (Probably because it makes it significantly easier for my AuDHD brain to remember said mission). On July 30, 2024 I will start tracking my mindfulness and meditation minutes here. My goal is to track 1 million mindful practice minutes. That would roughly equal 60 minutes a day for 45 years, bringing me up to my 84th birthday. Some days I imagine will be longer - meditation retreat anyone? And other days will be shorter. But I will be mindful every single day.

Who knows what will change in the world, but one thing I commit to fully is that I’m going to be part of the balance and the good. I’m excited to help make mindfulness more accessible and be mindful together along the way! I don’t need to carbo load before this mission officially launches (but I don’t need to not carbo load either - it’s birthday month afterall). I am going to start getting into the groove of tracking though, but won’t be ‘counting’ it towards the ultimate million until launch day. Follow along, Join me, Share with a friend - either way here’s to being mindful together!

Light & Love,

Mindful Michelle x

How Mindfulness changed my life

Ever since I can remember I have felt connected to something outside of myself - the bigger questions of feeling and not knowing. My sanctuary was the willow tree that I spent hours lounging creating a protective zone of wonder, dancing on the deck for hours in the sunshine to Whitney, Mariah and The Beatles, or the cloud watching that always transported me to a whimsical world to fly away into while also grounding me to the grass below me. It helped me feel connected in a safe way, a feeling that was sometimes hard to come by in other areas of my life.

I was raised in a Lutheran church. Religion often brought existential anxiety and questions brought on by some unsettling sense of claustrophic judgment. There had to be more and I was drawn to what was outside of the box. For the time I stuck to the ringing of the bells and singing in the choir - sensory expression of something bigger that also brought back down to a connected safe feeling.

In the transition from high school to college I got swallowed by the unknowns. The overwhelming openness left me drowning. The weight of past hurts didn’t help in getting to the surface any faster either. I was an undiagnosed ADHD empath in the age of Limewire - I’m surprised my computer didn’t explode and my roommate didn’t act out violently (to be fair I feel like with the amount of 6am fruit loop slurping I endured we came out even on that one).

I hadn’t learned I could handle the hard stuff. I didn’t know I was strong enough. I didn’t believe I was. I returned home. I found ways to connect to that safety while also exploring the bigger questions. I listened and felt ALL the albums. Expressed, processed, externalized, and released feelings through Journal and Creative Art exploration. And I sought out information, opinions, and science. Reading and Integrating this info this into my own understanding and beliefs. A couple stand outs from my journey:

The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life, by Deepak Chopra

The Alchemist, by Paul Coehlo

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

The Science of Living, by Alfred Adler

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, by Robert Sapolsky

The Secrets of Meditation, by DavidJi

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Sacred Therapy by Estelle Frankel, and did I mention I kept reading? ; )

All this exploration led me to 4 things - confusion, overwhelm, more questions, and mindfulness. The last of which empowered me to embrace the rest. Mindfulness was an altogether foreign concept yet also a very familiar feeling. I had not learned to ‘practice’ it but I had been experiencing it my entire life. I was the ‘feeler’, the empath, the black sheep at times - pointing out what others didn’t see or didn’t want to see. This seemed to be led by many more mindful moments than I probably preferred. Hence why I felt overwhelmed by this mindful way of being my ADHD brain was naturally inclined to (when it wasn’t dysregulate).

I hadn’t yet learn to harness the power of mindfulness into a practice vs. a way of being. When the mindful moments came - the insights and intense appreciation of beauty in the world was great. However when that same mindfulness brought clarity to painful things to a feeler without soothing tools it led to dysregulation, snubbing out the mindfulness, bringing on the anxiety, shame, and confusion spirals leading to stuck powerlessness. I hadn’t yet learned how our brains are wired with a negativity bias so even though there was plenty of good, the bad somehow just felt bigger. However the following things did help:

1. I studied. A lot. (I can prove it - check out my bio haha)

2. I lived. A lot. (I’m old - I don’t show just anyone my driver’s license though that is a special privilege haha).

3. I fumbled & messed up. A lot. (Need proof for that? Reference #2 above: I’m alive, it’s called being human).

4. I started to practice. A lot. (This is what allowed me to make more space for #3.)

5. I integrated what I learned. A lot. Into my beliefs and value-led actions. (and converted to Judaism along the way - a belief system and community that embraces mindfulness in action and practice in a way that fits for me while also fully supporting everyone’s individual spiritual journey and belief community choices).

6. I learned (and continue to learn) to trust and follow my heart - and bring my brain along with me too - like Adler says ; )

7. I share. A lot. I want to spread mindfulness trauma-informed practice tools & awareness. (Trauma-informed essential elements of mindfulness to build and secure tools that help tolerate the distress that can come with perceptive awareness of the present). The more mindful our moments, the more empowered and connected our world.

Which brings us here: How Mindfulness Changed My Life.

It didn’t. I did. But without mindfulness I couldn’t have. It saved me when I was drowning. It brought (and brings) me back to myself time and time again. It creates space for me to shift out of the overwhelmed blurry blindness of dysregulation and disconnection. It helps me connect to a bigger picture and tolerate the pain and joy of all this living.

Mindfulness is mainstream. But it’s brand isn’t fully aligned with what it truly is, because it is the same and different all the time. What it truly is will depend on the person and the moment. My mission to keep practicing and sharing mindfulness. For my neurodivergent, parent, professional, clinical, artist, writer, traveler, dog-loving, parts this can all be a little different depending on the day.

This blog will serve as a place where I can share my practice and what I continue to learn along the way. I will continue to explore the world through the lens of mindfulness and bring you (and my heart & brain) along with me! Follow @WhereInTheWorldRuMeditating where I will share fun mindfulness explorations and other people’s diverse life changing mindfulness experiences and journeys and @1MMindful for more mindful moments, techniques, and sharing of my journey to 1 Million Mindful Minutes in my life and 1 Million other lives. Let’s Be Mindful Together!